Thursday, 20 January 2011
I didn't intend to get to the age of 42 without being married or having had children. I try not to think about it as a failure but sometimes I am influenced by how Society dictates the way we should live. School, College, University, get a job, get career, get married, have kids etc etc. In my teens I never wanted any of that so I followed my heart and travelled. I didn't want to be the stereotypical wife and mother. BE CAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU WISH FOR rings loudly in my head these days. I'm trying to find an aim, a path, a reason for being....I am a little lost at times and am missing the fulfilment and achievements that having a husband and family could fill. Or at least that's what I'm led to believe. I feel sad that I dismissed the path that nature set for me because I didn't want to be and do the same as everyone else,,,I wanted to be different! Now I do feel different, I feel a little odd....do I feel a failure? Yes, at times. I don't know how I should act. I'm a single woman but I'm 42 to for Godsake...should I act like a single woman too? Am I destined to party out the rest of my years? I don't want to be a Sex in the City Samanth nor do I want to be a Miss Havisham but how do you get a fine balance? And if I'd known back then that Spinsterhood would follow my path too, would I have changed anything?
Posted by GEM at 18:19