Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Bachelors have more fun....?

Bachelor Spinster Bachelor Spinster Bachelor Spinster.......why is it that these two words which pretty much mean the same thing, when spoken, conjure up completely different images?  However.....Spinster Old Maid Spinster Old Maid ....our thought process here doesn't really recognise a difference between the two words. Similarly.... Bachelor and Stud sit in the same category. Whereas...Stud and Old Maid are at completely opposite ends of the scale. Why is it that the bachelor gets to have the Stud label associated with him and the Spinster has inherited the title of Old Maid? Who's having more fun.....well the Stud of course.

Revered by married men for remaining single and ultimately keeping their "freedom", bachelors do not have to justify or make excuses for being unmarried and childless. They don't get to the age of 40 and announce to the world that they are eager to settle down and live happily ever after in domestic bliss. They have chosen and celebrate their single status and will only choose to change it when they are good and ready and not by the age determined on their birth certificate.  Until then they remain a highly sought after commodity.

Our beloved Spinsters however, face a different association. Imagine an Old Maid and the picture in your head is not that of a sexy, sassy, confident, independant sex in the city Samantha. Bachelors get George Clooney on their side and we get Miss Havisham! Sad, pitiful, bitter and left behind are all adjectives used to describe a her.  Cats and knitting feature strongly in her life.

Think of Bachelor Pad and think of who lives in such a place? Someone who is charismatic, a catch,  a ladies man. The fact that a place to live is named after them screams to the rest of us that this lifestyle is desirable for a man. The "most eligible bachelor" is another accolade for these single men to aspire to. There is no such equivalent for the Spinster. You won't see a "Spinster Pad" advertised in your local estate agent nor will the "most eligible Spinsters" feature on the front  cover of such publications as FHM, GQ or any other of the men's popular magazines, in order to increase sales.  However you may find them on the front cover of "Simply Knitting" or "Your Cat" magazines!!

And why is it that a 40 something woman wanting to find the one, get married and have children is seen as desperate? Her desire is understandibly driven by the ticking of her biological clock....what is wrong with that?

So what is the alternative. Shall we call ourselves "Cougars" (now that is desperate). Bachelorettes? (sounds too young and flighty).

It really is time to dispense with the stigma and outdated stereotype associated with Spinsters....I mean who knits these days anyway? It should be replaced with the definition that an older unmarried woman is just plain picky!!


  1. So true!! Spinster Pad definitely does not have the same appeal...and would it be more likely to be located down in the basement as opposed to the penthouse do you think?

  2. Who knits these days? The ladies in the Knox Pub on a Tuesday night. Yes really! There is a regular knitting circle there. I bought a knitted chick with a cream egg inside! How sad is that- but it was for St.Michaels hospice. x

  3. Absolutely, and with only a matchbox size window grill to peer out of!!

  4. I stand corrected.....hats off (of the knitted kind of course)to the Knitting Club of the Knox Pub, keeping this valuable craft alive. And it's not sad to support your local charity but let me guess it was not the knitted chick that lured you to buy?? Perhaps it was the cadbury's cream egg which tempted you?

  5. Greetings GEM,
    First of all, I wish to sincerely apologise for not commenting on your very interesting blog, at an earlier time.
    My excuse? Hope you are sitting comfortably for I would like to remove an assumption made about us dudes, in general. My excuse is that I have been multitasking.
    And speaking of stigmas and stereotypes associated with spinsters, I think that those old boring assumptions are ready for the history books. Quite right that you should be 'picky'. I reckon getting married because it's the 'thing to do' can potentially cause nothing but misery.
    Now, I'm a single dad and have seen the impact of a very sad divorce, has had on my son.
    I guess I'm a reinvented bachelor. Just a guy trying to do the best he can and respect people for how they are with me and to heck with all labels.
    A fascinating read, my friend. Here's to your continued verbalising of your thoughts, your dreams, your aspirations through your superb blog.
    In kindness and respect, your way, Gary :) And yes, you are stylish.

  6. Hello Gary

    No apologies are necessary, I'll forgive a guy anything if he can multi task! What a rare dude you are :)
    It's really great to get a male perspective and I'm very glad you are of the same opinion as myself.
    Thank you for your kind words too.
    Reinvented bachelor?? = reinvented stud perhaps?? ;)

    Take care



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