Sunday 19 June 2011

36 month glitch.........!

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According to recent studies in the UK the 7 year itch has now become the 3 year glitch. This is the time that stress levels in relationships peak and the first flushes of romance have well and truly disappeared down the toilet! Those minor irritations that are harmless, almost funny and cute at the start of love develop into major annoyances which fuel arguments, cause the slamming of doors and force the back to back sleeping position. Yes we've all been there at some point in a relationship when your gorgeous adorable "sweet cheeks" becomes a vile monstrous specimin all because the toilet seat is left up, the top left off of the toothpaste or dirty socks abandoned on the bedroom floor. Little nuances which were once overlooked and readily dismissed when the rose tinted glasses were on and love really was blind.

The top 10 everyday niggles and passion killers in relationships are defined as follows;
  1. Weight gain/lack of exercise.
  2. Money & Spend thriftiness 
  3. Anti Social working hours
  4. Hygiene issues, personal cleanliness
  5. In Laws & extended family seeing too much/too little of.
  6. Lack of romance (sex, treats etc)
  7. Alcohol - drinking too much
  8. Snoring and anti social behaviour
  9. Lapsed fashion sense - losing touch with fashion & wearing the same old underwear/clothes
  10. Bathroom habits failing to lock doors, stray toenail cuttings, cleaning up etc  
 As I look down this list I see clearly that there is a correlation between these points. Each irritation is the cause and effect:



Weight gain is inevitable. Going out to dinner, sharing take aways, curled up together watching a movie eating ice cream, pop corn , chocolate etc will all contribute to that expanding waistline. Once realisation hits that you literally eating the contents of your bank account then common sense prevails and cut backs are introduced hence the need to watch the pennies and decrease the spending. Cue the arguments over how much was spent in the hair salon and the night out with the lads. In addition to keeping the wolf from the door, extra money needs to be earnt and what does that mean? Yep you guessed it....anti social working hours of course! And if your working all the hours in the day, who has the time and energy to devote hours and hours in the bathroom?? Enter # 4!


So how do numbers 1 - 4 lead to # 5? Well if my gorgeous sexy partner had turned into a lardy lazy arsed, stinky pits haggered looking scrooge, I would be too embarrassed for anyone to see him or would use spending time out with my friends and family as an excuse just to get then hell away from him! # 6 - lack of romance/sex.....well do I really need to explain?? 1 - 5 have already put paid to any bedroom antics or loving gestures.


At this point you are now in a relationship with no sex, no money and no time together so there's only one thing for it....alcohol!! You've been driven to it. Drowning your sorrows or getting blind drunk to block out the reality! Bring on # 8! Excessive drinking leads to anti social behaviour and a drunken slumber leads to loud body shaking snoring.
# 9 & 10 I'm sure you can figure out yourself but I think I've made my point. 

The slow demise of a relationship stems from the beginning.  This knock on effect sequence snowballs and gets out of control.....however only if you let it. If I've learnt anything from past relationships it is  focus more on what he/she does well and don't sweat the small stuff!




13 comments:

  1. You're spot on with this post! I recognize a few of those character traits from prior relationships.:-)

    My mother and father were married for almost forty years when he passed away. How strong they were to overcome the adversities that came their way over the years. Their love was enormous.

    Unfortunately, I was not that lucky. My first husband was killed - my last (of almost thirteen years) was everything you wrote about in your post. Adding to the mixture, he was a cheating louse!:-) I can smile about it now, but at the time I was hurt, angry, full of self-pity. Three year of freedom has cured me of those emotions.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this, Gem. You gave me a ton of smiles, and a whole lot to think about this morning.

    Sunday blessings your way,
    M.

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  2. OMG! Soooo funny! I love it!! (Might even pass it along to hubby!)

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  3. Gem, this is my second try at getting a comment through to you - I hope one of the two makes it. I greatly enjoyed this post. My first comment was longer...ah, well, hope you get it.

    Sunday blessings,
    M.

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  4. Dear Hazelmarie

    I received both your comments, thank you. I'm glad you can now laugh at past hurts...it means you've moved on.

    I think that when you realise that it doesn't just happen to you but also a million or so other women, will compound the fact that you were not the problem x

    Take Care

    GEM

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  5. Hey MMW

    Yes please show it to hubby, if nothing else it will make him realise how lucky he is to have you as his wife!!

    Thank you

    Take Care

    GEM

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  6. Hey GEM,
    A superbly written and thought provoking posting. I very much relate to your summary in regards to that article.
    I do know, in my case, that the positive environment that I once shared with my now former spouse was eroded and severely tested. Sadly, our situation could not be resolved and I did resort to alcohol. In fact, booze became my 'lover', my 'best friend'. Then, one day, the drink turned on me and nearly killed me.
    That was many years ago and now, I'm booze-free and I like to think that I'm a better, kinder, more caring person.
    I've learnt many a lesson in my life and yes, I will never take anyone for granted, ever again.
    I'm very sorry I've not been commenting on your excellent blog, lately. Of course, I've been over in Canada trying to be of support to some very dear friends who are going through some very tough times.
    I am very pleased to note that you received another award. And very pleased to know that Kelly has recognised your clever, thoughtful and witty writing. I thank you very much for forwarded the award onto me and I shall duly post up the award in a later posting.
    I hope you have been looking after England whilst I've been away :)
    Cheers GEM and take very good care of yourself.
    With respect and positive wishes, your way, Gary.

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  7. Hi Gem
    I read this and really wanted to laugh out loud, I can totally relate to all of the above points. How I have managed to stay married to him for 20 years is an absolute mystery. All I can say is that we must be very tolerant of each other. No point getting rid of him for the above as i'd probably be no better off. haha

    Excellent posting, truly talented

    Jodie xx

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  8. Hi Gary

    Please don't apologise, I know you have been away. Thank you sooo much for the compliments, this is exactly why I past the award on to you. You are so very generous with your comments and time to us bloggers...thank you.

    I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult relationship which resulted in alcohol addiction. Us women eh? We have a lot to answer for. So glad you have recovered and won your battle....well done!!

    Yes England has been in my safe hands duting your absence!!

    Take Care

    GEM

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  9. Hi Jodie

    Probably because he makes you laugh...that's why! I'm glad you enjoyed the post, thank you for the great comments. No please don't trade hubby in, not after 20 years. All that hard work and love would go to waste!

    Take Care

    GEM
    xx

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  10. How do people not see this kind of shit coming? It's human nature, to some extent.

    I think far too many people get married for the wedding not the marriage.

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  11. Hi Annabelle

    That's so true, the pomp and ceremony that surrounds weddings is way over the top. Then there's the arguments about who to invite etc etc...you see the fighting starts even at this point!! Oh I'm too cynical but a good idea for another post?? Thanks for dropping by and pressing that damn Follow button that keeps breaking down!!;)

    Take Care

    GEM

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  12. What can I say? This is such a funny post. I'm sure this is a reality for some and a source of amusement for others.
    But isn't that what reality is for most people? I suppose marriage is the post-doctorate study that separates the preachers from the practitioners. My advice after 56 years of marriage: Never run a stop sign...never forget any anniversary...never , ever, show any disrespect or say anything critical of your mother-in-law
    or her daughter. That's about it. My best

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  13. Hi Count Sneaky

    56 year!!! Wow!! You get less for murder... ;)

    Perfect advice and congrats on biting your tongue with regards your mum in law.

    Seriously though it really is so lovely to have been married that long. The connection the both of you must have must be for most of us unattainable.

    I salute you both.

    Take Care

    GEM

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